What it means to be a nice girl

Basically, putting the needs of others before your own. For instance:

  • Doing the “right thing” even if you don’t want to
  • Letting other people encroach on your personal space and boundaries, and not standing up for yourself and your needs until they’ve egregiously overstepped 
  • Second-guessing yourself and your intuitions while giving others the benefit of the doubt
  • Comforting others (and taking on their emotional/etc. burdens!) even when you’re not in the right/best mental state to do so
  • Doing things that are inconvenient, annoying, or downright bad to you because they make someone else’s life (even slightly) better

 

Fuck being a nice girl.

[Video] Link to me talking about mono no aware + other things

Hi all! I figured I would post the link to this “video” on my blog since it basically is just an unedited oral blog post. I recorded the audio around two weeks ago and just posted it. I enjoyed making it, and I will probably continue to use this media format for topics that are more difficult to write about concisely. Maybe I can live out my dream of making a podcast/radio program? 😊

I feel that I am in a period of many changes in my life.

(click on the video for some more context + helpful links in the description!)

Preserving artifacts

What is the truth of mediums (e.g., mechanical pencils, oil paints, human beings) and processes (e.g., printing, sketching on a moving vehicle, human-based service industries)?

I think for a lot of “high-achievers,” we hold everything (including ourselves!) to a standard of perfection. But that often betrays the truth of ourselves and our lives. I used to have very light handwriting, so that when I erased – always with a huge eraser – you couldn’t see the mistakes I had erased. I wanted to be seen as someone who got everything right on the first try, even though, like everyone else, I’m a human being!

Why do we feel a need to conceal these “imperfections”? These are literally the truths of our world. 

In computer science, there is a joke that programmers rebrand bugs (unintended programmatic behavior) as features. I recently started to reframe what I previously thought of as flaws as consequences of the qualities that enable something or somebody to do all the good things that I appreciate them for.